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 "is one, and this," continued he, "is two, two and one, you know, make three."—"Since you ha'e made it out sae weel," answered the old man, "your mother shall ha'e the first fowl, I'll ha'e the second, and the third you may keep to yoursel'."

A clergyman who wished to know whether the children of the parishoners understood their bibles, asked a lad that he one day found reading the Old Testament, who was the wickedest man? Moses, to be sure, said the boy.—Moses! exclaimed the parson, how can that be? Why, said the lad, beeausebecause [sic] he broke all the commandments at once!

A Leith merchant being on his usual ride to the south, came to the ford of a dark river, at the side of which a boy was diverting himself. The traveller addressed him as follows:-"Is this water deep?" "Ay, gaen deep," answered the boy. "Is there ever any person lost here?". "No," replied the boy, "there was never any lost; there has been some drowned but we aye get them again."

A certain son of St. Crispian, who resides in Paisley, lifting up his four cornered hat the other morning in a hurry, found it filled with his wife's fal-de-ral-lals; in a fit of wrath he exclaimed, "Gudesake, Janet, what the de'il gars you stap a' the trash in the house intill a body's hat."—"Trash, indeed!" exclaimed the indignant spouse, "stap it on your ain head, and the biggest trash in the house'll be in't."