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An honest Highlander walking along Holborn, head a cry, Rogue Scot, Rogue Scot; his nothern blood fired at the insult, drew his broad sword, looking round him on every side to discover the object of indignation; at last he found it came from a parrot, perched on a balcony within his reach but the generous Scot disdaining to stain his trusty blade with such ignoble blood, put up his sword again, with a sour smile, saying, "Gin ye were a man, as ye're a green geese, I would split your weem."

An Irishman one day was walking on the streets of Belfast, found a light guinea, and got 18s for it: next day he was walking, and sees another, and says, Allelieu, dear honey, I'll have nothing to you, for I lost 3s by your brother yesterday.

In a party of ladies, on it being reported that a Captain Silk had arrived in town, they exclaimed, with one exception, 'What a name for a soldier!' 'The fittest name in the world,' replied a witty female, 'for Silk can never be Worsted!'

A farmer's son, who had been sometime at the university, came home to visit his father and mother; and being one night with the old folks at supper on a couple of fowls, he told them, that by the rules of logic and arithmetic, he could prove these two fowls to be three.—"Well, let us hear," said the old manː "Why, this," said the scholar,