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 wife's mother lay sick of a fever,' preached for three Sundays together on the same subject.—Soon after two fellows going across the church-yard, and hearing the bell toll, one asked the other who it was for. Nay, I can't tell; perhaps replied he, it is for Peter's wife's mother, for she has been sick of a fever these three weeks.

About the year thretty-sax, a company differed "Whether it was better for a man to hae sons or dochters." They could not 'gree, but disputed it pro and con. At last one of them said to Graham of Kinross, (wha hadna yoked wi' them in the argument,) "Laird, what's your opinion?". Quo' he, "I had three lads, and three lasses; I watna whilk o' them I liked best sae lang as they sucket their mither; but de'il hae my share o' the callants when they cam to suck their father."

At an examination of a school in Edinburgh, a gentleman asked one of the scholars by what name they called property that descended from a father? "Patrimony," answered the scholar; and what do you call it, when descended from a mother? "Matrimony," was the reply.

One of the town's officers of Ayr, was struck severely by accident on the head by his wife.—After the fray was adjusted, the wife said to her husband, H—, had I killed you, and I been hanged for it, would you marry Kate M'Lauchlan.