Page:Brief historical relation of the life of Mr. John Livingston Minister of the Gospel.pdf/62

( 62 ) preaching, I never attained to any accuracy therein, and through laſineſs I did not much endeavour in I uſed ordinarily to write ſome few notes, and left the enlargement to the time of the delivery. I found that much studying did not ſo much help me in preaching, as the getting of my heart brought to a ſpiritual diſpoſition ; yea, ſometimes I thought the hunger of the hearers helped me more than my own preparation. Many a time I found that which was suggeſted to me in the delivery, was more refreſhful to myfelf, and edifying to the hearers, than what I had premeditated. I was often much deferred and cast down in preaching, and ſometimes tolerably assisted. I never preached a ſermon that I would be earnest to ſee again in writ, but two. The one was at a communion on a Monday at the kirk of Shots, and the other on a Monday after a communion in Holywood. And both theſe times I had ſpent the whole night before in conference and prayer, with ſome chriſtians, without any more than ordinary preparation: otherwiſe, my gift was rather suited to ſimple common people, than to learned judicious auditors. I could hardly ever get my own ſermons repeated, neither could I get the ſame ſermon preached twice, althou' to other hearers. I thought it became taſteleſs both to myſelf and others. I have ſometimes after ſome years, preached on the ſame text, but then I behoved to make uſe of new notes. Had I in a right manner believed and taken pains, it had been better for myſelf; but by a laſy truſting to aſſiſtance in the mean time, I kept myſelf bare-handed all my days. I had a kind of coveting when I got leiſure and opportunity to read much, and of different ſubjects; and I was oft challenged, that my way of reading was like ſome mens luſt, after ſuch a kind of play or recreation. I uſed to read much too fast, and ſo was ſomewhat pleaſed in the time, but retained little. My memory was wateriſh and weak, yet had I improved it, I might have had better uſe of it; for after that I came from the college, I did with no great difficulty attain to ſome tolerable inſight in the Hebrew, Chaldee, and ſomewhat alſo of the Syriack: the Arabick I did eſſay, but the vastneſs of it made me give it over. I got alſo ſo much