Page:Book of Etiquette, Volume 2, by Lilian Eichler.djvu/165

Rh the enemy of eloquence. Self-restraint must be developed before one can hope to be either a good conversationalist or a social success. To create a pleasant, harmonious atmosphere, and at the same time to make one's ideas carry conviction, one must talk with ease and calm assurance.

Try to be naturally courteous and cordial in your speech. It is a mistake to "wear your feelings on your sleeve" and resent everything that everyone else says that does not please you. To become quickly excited, to speak harshly and sarcastically is to sacrifice one's dignity and ease of manner. Know what you want to say, be sure you understand it, and when you say it, be open for criticisms or suggestions from those around you. Do not become flustered and excited merely because someone else does not agree with you. Remember that Homer said, "The tongue speaks wisely when the soul is wise," and surely the soul can be wise only when one is entirely calm, self-confident and at peace with all the world!

It is not always easy to drop the local phrases, colloquial expressions and mannerisms to which one has been accustomed for a long time. Yet good society does not tolerate these errors in speech. For they are errors, according to the standards of educated men and women.

To use such phrases as "How was that" when you mean "What was that" or "How's things" when you mean "How are you" are provincialisms which have no place in the cultured drawing-room. One must drop all bad habits of speech before claiming the "good English which is a passport into good society."