Page:Book of Etiquette, Volume 2, by Lilian Eichler.djvu/159



One is judged first by his dress but this judgment is not final. A better index is his speech. It is said that one can tell during a conversation that lasts not longer than a summer shower whether or not a man is cultivated. Often it does not take even so long, for a raucous tone of voice and grossly ungrammatical or vulgar expressions brand a man at once as beyond the pale of polite society.

No point of social etiquette is quite so valuable as this one of speech. As one goes forth he is weighed in the balance and if he is found wanting here he is quietly dropped by refined and cultured people, and nearly always he is left wondering why with his diamonds and his motors and his money he yet cannot find entrée into the inner circles where he would most like to be. Money does not buy everything. If it were possible for it to do so there would be no proverb to the effect that it takes three generations to make a gentleman. And the proverb itself is not more than half true. If the attitude of mind is that of one who honestly wants to develop himself to the highest possible point, mentally, morally, and spiritually, it can be done in much less than a single generation. Of course, much depends upon one's definition of what constitutes a gentleman but for the purpose of this book we mean a man of education, high principles, honor, courtesy, and kindness.