Page:Book of Etiquette, Volume 1, by Lilian Eichler.djvu/318

288 tardy, is to demonstrate one's rudeness and want of good breeding. Promptness in regard to the answering of invitations, punctuality in attending dinners, luncheons and parties of any kind,—these are marks of good breeding.

If one is invited to a dance or party and does not wish to attend without an out-of-town friend who happens to be stopping with him or her at the time—a friend who certainly cannot be deserted on the afternoon or evening of the occasion—it is permissible to write a cordial note to the hostess explaining the situation and requesting that an invitation be extended to the friend. However, no resentment should be felt if the hostess finds she must refuse the request; for she may have had to refuse some of her own friends on account of conditions beyond her control.

But no guest may bring to a party, dance or dinner, a friend or acquaintance who has not been invited. This is considered a breach of etiquette, and the hostess is not inhospitable when she does not invite that particular guest again.

The guest must conform in all things to the tastes and customs of his host and hostess. He must find (or feign) enjoyment in everything that is proposed by them, everything that is offered by them in the way of entertainment.

In taking leave of the hostess it is necessary to thank her cordially. Criticisms, either of the conduct of some other guest, or of servants, are poor form and should be avoided. The ideal guest is the one who has that ease and poise of manner, that calmness and kindness of temper, that loving and lovable disposition that makes people somehow want to talk to and be with him. Such a guest needs no set of rules—inherently he knows the laws of good conduct and fine manners; he is the boon of hosts and hostesses the world over.