Page:Book of Etiquette, Volume 1, by Lilian Eichler.djvu/207

 longings of the dead man or woman black. This may not have been so much mourning as it was fear, for these people of long ago were afraid of death, and they used the death-color largely to please the spirit of the one who died. Perhaps the black-bordered mourning cards we use to-day are used more in the spirit of ostentation and display rather than that of mourning.

Unless one is truly sorrowing over the death of some dear one, mourning cards should not be used. When they are used, the borders should be very narrow—never more than one-fourth of an inch. They should not be carried by people who are not in strict mourning garments.

During the first year of widowhood, the mourning card should have a black border one-fourth of an inch deep. The second year the border may be diminished one-sixteenth of an inch; and every six months after that, the same amount may be detracted from the border, until mourning is put off entirely. A widower's card has a border narrower than the widow's in proportion to the size of their respective cards. It, too, is gradually decreased in width until the end of the mourning period.

This graduation, or rather gradual narrowing, of the border is not used in the mourning of a sister's, brother's or parent's death. For these relatives, a border not less than a sixteenth or more than an eighth of an inch in width should be used. Mourning cards should not be assumed for an uncle, aunt or cousin, unless genuine sorrow and heartfelt sympathy are felt. A border that is a sixteenth of an inch in width is sufficient for the complete period of mourning for these latter relatives.

The mourning cards of parents and widows should bear the broadest black borders, but even they must not exceed the conventional width, which is not more than