Page:Book of Etiquette, Volume 1, by Lilian Eichler.djvu/125

 terred or cremated, whether the casket shall rest in a grave or a vault or a mausoleum or whether the ashes shall be preserved in an urn or scattered upon a well-loved river or hill or upon some other chosen spot is entirely a matter of personal preference.

But etiquette unites with the laws of beauty and refined sentiment in protesting against the erecting of hideous monuments with absurd inscriptions. The purpose of the tombstone is to mark the resting place and to bear the name and the date of the birth and death of the person who lies beneath it. If the life itself has not left a record that will last a marble slab will not do much to perpetuate it. Sometimes there is a special achievement or a mark of distinction which may with propriety be cut into the stone or the family of the deceased may inscribe thereupon an expression of their grief or love; but flowery inscriptions belong to the past and since there are no words that can adequately express the grief of a sorrowing family for one who has died it is perhaps best not to attempt it.

The hour at which the interment is to take place is appointed to suit the convenience of the family. In cities where a multiplicity of duties makes attendance in the daytime difficult it is customary to have evening services, but under all other circumstances the funeral is scheduled to take place during the day.

Grief turns instinctively to the somber garments of mourning for the slight measure of comfort which they give, but modern ideas of enlightened civilization look with disfavor on long crêpe veils and any other form of mourning that is so pronounced as to be ostentatious. Black