Page:Book of Etiquette, Volume 1, by Lilian Eichler.djvu/118

 young men are appropriate for a young man who has died; while for an elderly married man, eight gentlemen from among his closest friends and business associates form the usual guard of honor.

The pall-bearers, in the invitation, are told just when they are expected to assemble at the house of the deceased, and they should make it a particular point to be on time. There can be no greater breach of good manners, and in fact no greater unkindness, than to keep a funeral party waiting. If the pall-bearers are to be women, the carriages or cars may be sent for them individually; but as a general rule, pall-bearers are shown to their carriage or car before the door, when the funeral procession begins.

It is customary for all who attend a church funeral to assemble at the church, but this rule does not pertain to the pall-bearers. They are the only ones who accompany the immediate family and relatives from the house. Unless a special request to the contrary has been made, pall-bearers may send flowers if they wish.

A prompt answer is necessary upon receipt of an invitation to serve as pall-bearer. Illness or absence from town at the time of the funeral are the only excuses for refusing to accept the invitation. The written answer must be followed by a personal call at the home of the deceased, and cards must be left.

Formerly, the duty of the pall-bearer was to carry the cloth or velvet pall that covered the coffin—hence the name. Later the custom developed into a more important duty—the pall-bearers actually carried the casket into and out of the church. This is still done, although now