Page:Book of Etiquette, Volume 1, by Lilian Eichler.djvu/117

 also devolves upon some intimate relative or friend. Notes or letters written in the name of the family are on either black-edged or plain white paper, and signed with the names of the people for whom they are written. Thus, if Mrs. Carr's husband has died, and her cousin is attending to the incident preparations and duties, the notes and letters written for Mrs. Carr would be signed with her name and not the name of the cousin, but with the initials of the cousin beneath the signature.

The ladies of a bereaved family should not see callers, even the most intimate friends, unless they are able to control their grief. It is a source of discomfort to the visitor, as well as to the mourner, to enact a scene of semi-hysteria in the drawing-room. Yet, at a time like this, one can hardly be expected to be in full control of one's emotions. Therefore it is always wise for the women to keep to their rooms until after the funeral.

If a guard of honor is to be appointed, the person in charge should consult the wishes of the immediate family. Those who are asked to serve receive an invitation by note or by messenger, sent either by the head of the family of the deceased or by the person in charge. Relatives are seldom appointed as pall-bearers. A request to serve as pall-bearer should be refused only for the most imperative reasons.

The number and age of the pall-bearers is a matter of taste and not of obligation. But it is considered good form to have six young girls, dressed in white, as the guard of honor for a young girl or woman. They should be selected from among intimate friends. Similarly, six