Page:Book of Etiquette, Volume 1, by Lilian Eichler.djvu/116

 announcement in the papers. Family grief is private; and publicity cheapens it.

The somber crêpe announcing to the world that a death has occurred in the family is also fast becoming a thing of the past. One can easily see in this custom of crêpe-hanging a relic of that custom of ancient Patagonia that required all belongings of the deceased to be painted black. Even the body of the person who died was covered with black paint. The black crêpe of to-day is merely another form of that same custom. Now, instead of the broad black ribbon, a wreath or long sprays of white or lilac flowers are entwined around the flowing ends of white ribbon. This is especially appropriate when the deceased is a young person—man or woman. For a girl of tender years, or for a very young child, a sheaf of white roses or white carnations with white ribbons should be used; roses and violets with a white ribbon, or roses with a black ribbon denote the death of an older unmarried man or woman. The plain crêpe streamers are usually used for married people. Custom still demands this flower-and-ribbon tribute to the dead on the door of his or her residence, but gradually this custom, too, will be relegated to the forgotten things of the past.

A close friend or relative of the bereaved family should make the necessary purchases for the women members of that family. It is considered bad form for them to be seen abroad before the funeral. A dressmaker should be summoned to the house if orders are to be given for mourning dress.

The duty of writing necessary notes and seeing callers