Page:Black Jacob, a monument of grace.djvu/69

Rh "Looking back upon my past life and feeling my hell-desert; deserving nothing but the bottomless pit; and this brings me to feel that nothing but the grace of God has kept me till this day."

"You often speak of feeling so heavy Jacob, what do you mean by that?" "So heavy?" "You spoke of it this morning, as having that feeling before you went into the woods." "O, yes, when I look back and see my sins; when the Lord takes away his Spirit from me, and leaves me to myself, then I feel very heavy and distressed by my sin and guilt, till the Saviour appears to me again by his Spirit, and I feel like a new man, and I feel that my Saviour has come to me and raises me up, and puts joy and gladness into my heart, and causes me to feel light and joyful. I have often felt that if I was left to myself, if it was not for the grace of God and his Spirit, that I should go into despair, and sink in despair."