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RV 165 (BIG SUR165) bling’s not only in the creek, as I say it’s left the creek and come in my head, it would be alright for coherent babbling meaning something but it’s all brilliantly enlightened babble that does more than mean something: it’s telling me to die because everything is over—Everything is swarming all over me.

Dave and Romana retire again by the creek for a night’s sweet sleep under the moon while Billie and I sit there gloomy by the fire—Her voice is crying: “It might make you feel better to just come in my arms”—“I’ve got to try something, Billie after all I’ve told you I cant make you see what’s happening to me, you dont understand”—“Come into our sleepingbag again like last night, just sleep”—We get in naked but now I'm not drunk I’m aware of the real tight squeeze in there and besides in my fever I’m perspiring so much it’s unbearable, her own skin is soaking wet from mine, yet our arms are outside in the cold—“This wont do!”—“What’ll you do?”—“Let’s try the cot inside” but maniacally I arrange the cot all screwy with a board on top of it forgetting to put sleepingbag pads underneath like I'd done all summer, I simply forget all that, Billie, poor Billie lies down with me on this absurd board thinking I’m trying to drive my madness away by self torturing ordeals—It’s ridiculous, we lie there stiff as boards on a board—I roll off and saying “We’ll try something else”—I try laying out the sleepingbag on the floor of the porch but the moment she’s in my arms a mosquito comes at me, or I burst out sweating, or I see a flash of lightning, or I hear a big roaring Hymn in my head, or imagine a thousand people are coming down the creek talking, or the roar of the wind is bringing flying treetrunks that will crush us—“Wait a minute,” I yell and get up to pace awhile and run down to drink water by the creek where Dave and Romana are peacefully entangled—I start cursing Dave “Bastard’s got the only decent spot there is to sleep in anyway, right there in that sand by the creek, if he wasnt here.I could sleep there and the creek would cover the noise in my head and I could