Page:Barbour--Joan of the ilsand.djvu/288

276 But it was not merely the wizardry of the night that held Keith in a spell as he stood on the veranda with Joan beside him and looked over the scene. The shackles had fallen from him. A millstone, that had weighed him down both sleeping and waking, however he strove to forget it, was there no longer. He was free—free to come or go, free to sail on the face of the sea in ships, free to stay where he was and say whatever his heart dictated to the woman of his choice.

Yet Keith, who had never known what nervousness was, had suddenly become acutely conscious of what the word could mean. For many weeks he had held himself in check when he was longing to declare his love. Then had come the moment when, after he had endured nameless horrors of apprehension, his resolution had failed him and the shadow had been forgotten for one long glorious moment. Afterward he had got himself in hand again, had drawn back when too late and, drawing back, had known that he was hurting Joan just as he was hurting himself.

"Joan, dear," he said soberly, imprisoning the hand that hung beside him, "can you forgive me?" "Forgive you?" she asked gently.

"I had fought so hard—before—not to let you see," he went on, "and then—afterwards—I thought I could hide it again. And I did, but—it hurt!"