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86 Mister ! The thing is not humanly possible. Rem acu tetigisti!

The Guard. I do not understand Indian, Sir. If you have anything to say about this affair, you had better say it.

Myself (combining discretion with magnanimousness). As a chivalrous, I must decline to bring any accusation against a member of the weaker sex, and my tongue is hermetically sealed.

''The Eld. F. It was him'' who rang the alarm, and not me. He was in this compartment, and I in that. The Guard. What? have you been playing at Hide-and-seek together, then? But if your story is watertight, he must have rung the bell in a state of abject bodily terror, owing to your chivying him about!

''The Eld. F.'' It is false! I have been well educated, and belong to an excellent family. I merely wanted to kiss him.

The Guard. I see what is your complaint. You have been imbibing the drop too much, and will hear of this from the Company. I must trouble you, Mam, for your correct name and address.

Myself (after he had obtained this and was departing). Mister Guard, I do most earnestly entreat you not to abandon me to the tender mercies of this feminine. I am not a proficeint [sic]in physical courage, and have no desire to test