Page:Awful memorial of the state of Francis Spira (1).pdf/18

[18] yourſelf therefore, G will come at length, though he ſeem afar off.

O brother, anſwered Spira, I believe all this; "The devils believe and tremble!" But David was ever elected, and dearly beloved of G; and tho' he fell, yet G took not utterly away his Holy Spirit, and therefore was heard when he prayed, "Lord, take not thy holy Spirit from me!" But I am in another caſe, being ever accurſed from the preſence of G!- Neither can I pray as he did, becauſe his Holy Spirit is quite gone, and cannot be recalled; and therefore I know I ſhall live in continual hardneſs, ſo long as I live. Oh! that I might feel but the leaſt ſenſe of the love of G to me, tho' but for one ſmall moment, as I now feel his heavy wrath, that burns like torments of hell within me, and afſlicts my conſcience with pangs unutterable! Verily deſperation is hell itſelf!

Then Gribauldus ſaid, I do verily believe, Spira, that G having ſo ſeverely chaſtised you in this life, correcteth you in mercy here, that He may ſpare you hereafter; and that He hath mercy ſealed up foryou in time to come.

Nay, ſaid Spira, hence do I know that I am a reprobate, becauſe he afflicteth me with hardneſs of heart. O that my body had ſuffered all my life long, ſo that he would be pleased to releaſe my ſoul, and ease my conscience, this my burdened and oppressed conscience!

Gribauldus being willing to ease his mind from the continual ineditation of his ſins; as also to ſound him how for the present he ſtood affected to the Romiſh Church, aſked him what he thought became of the ſouls of men, after they departed out of the body? To which Spira answered: Altho' this be not clearly revealed