Page:Awful memorial of the state of Francis Spira (1).pdf/17

[17] was to be expected by Christ, and I denied and abjured it, to the end I might keep this frail life from adversity, and my children from poverty, and now behold how bitter this life is to me!- And God only knows, what ſhall become of this my family; but ſure no good is like to betide it, but worſe and worſe, and ſuch a ruin at length, as one ſtone ſhall not be left upon another!!!

But why ſhould you, ſaid Gribauldus, conceit ſo deeply of your ſin, ſeeing you cannot but know that many have denied Chriſt, yet never fell into despair? "But, ſaid Spira, I can ſee no ground of comfort for ſuch; neither can I warrant them from G's revenging hand, or that he will yet ſuffer ſuch to be in peace; and beſides, there will be a time of danger to come, and they ſhall be thoroughly tried, and if it were not ſo, yet God is juſt in making me an example to others, and I cannot juſtly complain. There is no puniſhment ſo great but I have deserved it, for this ſo heinous an offence. I assure you, it is no ſmall matter to deny Chriſt, and yet it is more ordinary than commonly men do conceive of; it is not a denial made before a Magiſtrate, as it is with me; for as oft as a Chriſtian doth diſſemble the known truth, as often as he approves of falſe worſhip, by preſenting himſelf at it ſo often as he doth things unworthy of his calling, ſo often he denies Chriſt. This did I, and am therefore juſtly puniſhed for it.

Your eſtate, quoth Gribauldus, is not ſo ſtrange as you make it. Job was ſo far gone, that he complained G had ſet him as a mark against him. And David, that was a man after G's own heart, complained often that G had forſaken him, and was become his enemy. Yet both received comfort again. Comfort