Page:Awful Disclosures of Maria Monk (Truslove & Bray).djvu/181

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HERE I found myself once more alone, and truly it was a great relief to sit down and feel that I was out of reach of the priests and nuns, and in a spot where I could patiently wait for death, when God might please to send it, instead of being abused and tormented according to the caprices and passions of my persecutors.

But then again returned most bitter anticipations of the future. Life had no attractions for me, for it must be connected with shame; but death, under any circumstances, could not be divested of horrors, so long as I believed in the doctrines relating to it which had been inculcated upon me.

The place where I had taken up, as I supposed, my last earthly abode, was pleasant in clear and mild weather; and I spent most of my time in as much peace as the state of my mind would permit. I saw houses, but no human beings, except on the side of a little hill near by, where were some men at work, making sounds like those made in hammering stone. The shade around me was so thick that I felt assured of being sufficiently protected from observation if I kept still; and a cluster of bushes offered me a shelter for the night. As evening approached I was somewhat alarmed by the sound of voices near me, and found that a number of labourers were passing that way from their work. I went in a fright to the thickest of the bushes, and lay down until all was again still, and then ventured out to take my seat again on the turf.