Page:Austen Sanditon and other miscellanea.djvu/39

 Rh wanted, was called for. Nature had marked it out, had spoken in most intelligible Characters—The finest, purest Sea Breeze on the Coast—acknowledged to be so—Excellent Bathing—fine hard sand—Deep Water 10 yards from the Shore—no Mud—no Weeds—-no slimy rocks. Never was there a place more palpably designed by Nature for the resort of the Invalid—the very Spot which Thousands seemed in need of. The most desirable distance from London! One complete, measured mile nearer than Eastbourne. Only conceive, Sir, the advantage of saving a whole Mile, in a long Journey. But Brinshore, Sir, which I dare say you have in your eye—the attempts of two or three speculating People about Brinshore, this last Year, to raise that paltry Hamlet, lying, as it does, between a stagnant marsh, a bleak Moor and the constant effluvia of a ridge of putrefying sea weed, can end in nothing but their own Disappointment. What in the name of Common Sense is to recommend Brinshore? A most insalubrious Air—Roads proverbially detestable—Water Brackish beyond example, impossible to get a good dish of Tea within 3 miles of the place—and as for the Soil, it is so cold and ungrateful that it can hardly be made to yield a Cabbage. Depend upon it, Sir, that this is a faithful Description of Brinshore—not in the smallest degree exaggerated—and if you have heard it differently spoken of ’ ‘Sir, I never heard it spoken of in my Life before,’ said Mr. Heywood. ‘I did not know there was such a place in the World.’ `You did not! There, my Dear’ (turning with exultation to his Wife), ‘you see how it is. So much for the Celebrity of Brinshore! This Gentleman did not know there was such a place in the World. Why, in truth, Sir, I fancy we may apply to Brinshore, that line of the Poet Cowper in his description of the religious Cottager, as opposed to Voltaire—“She, never heard of half a mile from home.”’ ‘With all my Heart, Sir, Apply