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he disabled my judgment: this is called the

'reply churlish.' If again, it was not well cut, he

would answer, I spake not true: this is called

the 'reproof valiant': if again, it was not well

cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the

'countercheck quarrelsome': and so to the 'lie

circumstantial,' and the 'lie direct.'

Jaq. And how oft did you say his beard was

not well cut?

Touch. I durst go no further than the 'lie

circumstantial,' nor he durst not give me the 'lie

direct'; and so we measured swords and parted.

Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the de-

grees of the lie?

Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print; by the

book, as you have books for good manners: I

will name you the degrees. The first, the 'retort

courteous'; the second, the 'quip modest'; the

third, the 'reply churlish'; the fourth, the 're-

proof valiant'; the fifth, the 'countercheck

quarrelsome'; the sixth, the 'lie with circum-

stance'; the seventh, the 'lie direct.' All these

you may avoid but the lie direct; and you may

avoid that too, with an 'if.' I knew when seven

justices could not take up a quarrel; but when

the parties were met themselves, one of them

thought but of an 'if,' as 'If you said so, then I

said so'; and they shook hands and swore

brothers. Your 'if' is the only peace-maker;

much virtue in 'if.'

Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's

as good at anything, and yet a fool.

 85 countercheck: rebuke

86 circumstantial: indirect

91 measured swords: fought a few passes

92 nominate: name

95 book; cf. n. 