Page:Anthology of Japanese Literature.pdf/332

328 so wretched a sight that I could not bear to look at them, and from the eleventh month, as I recall, I began living away from home, passing my nights and days in the shelter of some old temple building or hidden in the sacred hall of a shrine. After having spent many days wandering about, I thought that I should like to see what was happening at home. But no sooner did I set foot inside the house than my wife seized me and began to weep bitterly.

“ ‘How hateful of you! Why have you acted in such an inhuman way? It happens commonly enough that relations between a husband and wife become unbearable, and I have no intention of wasting my breath in useless lamenting over it. Now that your heart has changed and our ties have come to an end there is no point in my trying to cling to you. Please divorce me at once. Have you any conception of what it has been like for me, a lone woman trying to maintain a family? It is almost New Year now, but I shall have to find work so that I can support the little ones. You have no property, you don’t know anything about trade or farming. All you can do is to steal things from people, and now you can’t even manage to do that. You don’t think about what will happen to the children—you’ve even left your own house to live elsewhere. I see that it has all been because of me. But no matter how much this house bores you, how can you not care whether your children are starving to death? These past two or three days I have had no money. There has been nothing to cook, and the children are weeping with hunger. You can imagine how unhappy it makes me to look at them.’

“When she finished speaking, I said, ‘It must be an accumulation of karma from the previous world. Everything I have tried has failed. I have been living elsewhere, it is true, but I have come back now because of my love for the children. Please calm yourself and wait a bit longer. Something will turn up today or tomorrow.’

“I thought in my heart that I should certainly get something that night. I could scarcely wait for it to grow dark. When twilight came with the echo of the temple bells, I went out with my usual sword. I stood in the shadows of a wall and waited impatiently for someone to pass. I felt sure that, no matter who came along, even if he were