Page:Anna Karenina.djvu/994

312 entire day outside the house; and when he came home the maid informed him that Anna Arkadyevna had a headache, and begged him not to disturb her.

before had they let a day end with a quarrel unsettled. This was the first time. This was not a mere quarrel; it was evidently the avowal of permanent coldness. How was it possible for him to look at her as he had done when he came into her room after his document? how could he look at her, and see that her heart was full of despair, and then go out with a calm, indifferent face? He had not only grown cold to her, but he hated her, because he loved some other woman. This was clear. And, as she recalled all the cruel words which he had said to her, Anna began to imagine also the words which she was certain he would like to say to her and might say, and she grew more and more irritated.

"I will not keep you," she imagined him saying. "You may go wherever you please. As you don't care to be divorced from your husband, you probably intend to go back to him. If you want money, I will give it to you. How many rubles do you want?"

All these insulting words which the cruel man might say were said merely in her imagination, but she could not forgive him any more than if he had really said them.

"But did he not swear to me only yesterday that he loved me? Is he not a sincere and honest man?" she said to herself a moment afterward. "Have I not been in despair several times before, all for nothing?"

She passed the entire day, except two hours during which she made a visit to her protégés, the Wilsons, in alternate doubt and hope. Was all at an end? Was there any chance of a reconciliation? Should she leave him then and there, or should she wait and see him once again? She waited for him all day; and in the eve