Page:Anna Karenina.djvu/387

 ing and to imagine himself obliged to expose his life to this danger.

Afterward, when he had attained success and a high social position, he had got out of the way of such thoughts; but his habit of mind now reasserted itself, and his timidity, owing to his cowardice, was so great that Alekseï Aleksandrovitch long deliberated about the matter, turning it over on all sides, and questioning the expediency of a duel, although he knew perfectly well that in any case he would never fight.

"Undoubtedly the state of our society is still so sav- age," he said,—"though it is not so in England,—that very many ...."

And in these many, to whom such a solution was satisfactory, there were some for whose opinions Alekseï Aleksandrovitch had the very highest regard. "Looking at the duel from its good side, to what result does it lead? Let us suppose that I send a challenge!"

And Alekseï Aleksandrovitch went on to draw a vivid picture of the night that he would spend after the challenge; and he imagined the pistol aimed at him, and shuddered, and realized that he could never do such a thing,

"Let us suppose that I challenge him to a duel; let us suppose that I learn how to shoot," he forced himself to think, "that I am standing, that I pull the trigger," he said to himself, shutting his eyes, "and it happens that I kill him;" and he shook his head, to drive away these absurd notions.

"What sense would there be in causing a man's death, in order to settle my relations to a sinful woman and her son? Even then I should have to decide what I ought to do with her. But suppose—and this is vastly more likely to happen—that I am the one killed or wounded. I, an innocent man, the victim, killed or wounded? Still more absurd! But, moreover, would not the challenge to a duel on my part be a dishonorable action, certain as I am beforehand that my friends would never allow me to fight a duel? would never permit the life of a government official, who is so indispensable to Russia, to