Page:Angna Enters - Among the Daughters.djvu/458

 one day—he wants a job in a musical—and he told me she has a whole new system of exercises to discover power beyond power in disciplining your body."

They stood on the sidewalk and Vida saw Lucy shivering, her skin drawn, purple rings under her eyes, as though many years had passed since they entered the lunchroom. Up to now Lucy's changes of mind had seemed inconsequential whims and always there had been the conviction that she would come out on top, even after the Horta party. For the first time she pitied Lucy.

"I do wish you'd come and share the apartment. I feel cut in halt when we aren't together," she said.

"So do I. I'll think about it and let you know. I have to go across town now and meet Noonan but I'll phone you soon," Lucy said. Vida watched her teeter away on the ridiculous high heels with small insecure steps, her head high as always.

The moment the hurdle of facing Vida at the Jason had passed, Lucy had known how relieved she was that Vida had persisted in telephoning. In Vida's clever eyes she had read dismay at sight of the room and she had had to talk all around the real reason why she was there. Not only because of Horta but that, after Vermillion had gone, and Vida too, and when everything she had worked for had seemed to be slipping away, going to the Jason was like going back to the beginning in New York to try and find the right road again.

Walking crosstown she confided to Vermillion, who sometimes when she was most lonely seemed to return from across the sea to listen, "I jabbered and jabbered about everything because it was so good to have her to talk to but I didn't talk about you. It's the funniest thing but it is hard for me to mention your name to her or anyone. Vida said once she believes people can die for love but I still think it's the other way around. You can die for not being in love because what else is there? But let me tell you something, I'm going to try hard to snap out of this. I'm not going to keep thinking about you and I'm sick of running around with different men. I want to make a relationship last. I'm going to see if I can't love someone who'll let me, because I enjoy taking care of someone I like. Of course, you're too independent to care about anything like that," she ended out loud severely and looked up to see a strange man look at her warily. 446