Page:Angna Enters - Among the Daughters.djvu/406

 I'm contradicting what I've been saying in admitting that the spectacle of man versus bull excites me, but I do not blind myself as to its essential one-sidedness.

"I've seen Juan Belmonte dominate a bull—it is overpowering in its effect on one's emotions, yes—but remember, before he can dominate that bull—the best possible bull, a Miura bull—he has to have the help of a picador who even when he is honorable in his pic-ing—I've never seen one—is supposed to 'correct,' as the saying goes, the posture of the bull's head by placing his murderous pic in the neck muscle—to lower that proud head. Then, there's the old horse, who has been dominated by less attractive figures than matadors all its life to the point that it can hardly stand on its legs, on whom the bull tires himself out by extracting the horse's insides. Then, there are the banderilleros—it is beautiful to watch the courageous ones place the banderillas—but the object is to further lower the bull's head—and then the dizzying effect of all the capework, beautiful but dizzying to the bull! Then the matador dominates the bull—his head properly lowered—who didn't want to fight in the first place. Now, in my book, a human being isn't a bull—though I will admit that the world does provide pic, banderillero and matador for all of us. I know I don't want to dominate anyone—any more than I wish to be dominated. The only thing I want to dominate is a canvas—but I don't want lowered heads to look at it."

Lucy turned her head and looked at him because while she liked hearing him talk and the way everyone respected what he said even when they were mad at him, the last thing he said gave her a new idea about him as a man. Maybe she ought to be the one to go after him since he did not believe in dominating.

With him one could be oneself, Vida thought. And he would help if one became entangled in puzzling out an approach to writing. With Vermillion it would not be as it had been with Rad but a two-way union.

"But Ilona simply meant that she has a right to express herself and not be at the mercy of an unwilling audience," Vent said.

"You mean," Vermillion began genially.

"Stop it," Lucy dominated, to see how it would work. "That's enough tonight. Somebody has to take Vida and me home and that means you."

He stood obediently, and thought it must be his imagination that made her seem to imply that he had talked a lot when all he 394