Page:Angna Enters - Among the Daughters.djvu/386

 "If you do you will learn something about why, and the next time will be better," he said gently.

He was telling her, and the prospect was dismal, that she would be going on and on in a life in which he had no part. Not that she was happy when she was with him, except for a few wild seconds when he seemed to lift her up and she didn't stop to think. Mostly, like now, he made her feel like weeping for no reason. Up and down was how she felt with him so it was just as well she wasn't in love with him.

First the worst, Second the same, Last the best Of all the game. But, from the way he spoke, the last never came. At least, though, he made you feel that if something you tried didn't come off it wouldn't make any difference to him, that no matter how often you tried and failed he would stand by you. Maybe that's why Simone is so crazy about him.

They walked silently.

With a sigh she said, "When I saw Simone at the Chennonceaux I thought how easy it looked. I thought all I need are some ideas and I will be an artist too."

"It isn't that easy for anyone. I ought to know. One has a lot of ideas, but realizing them is another matter. As for Simone, what looks easy now is the result of years of trying and learning. She has many years' start on you." Suddenly irritated with himself for unthinkingly speaking of Simone's age, or of Simone at all to this girl, he added impatiently, "It's futile to worry about whether you are an artist or not. All you can do is your best and hope that with luck something will come of it. Otherwise you are beaten before you begin."

"That makes me feel better," she said, "but I don't know why. You see up to now whenever I ask, everyone says there isn't anything to worry about, that everything will be fine. But I know maybe it won't be. If what you say is true I don't care what happens so long as I can feel it isn't hopeless, a waste of time. But I wish," she said wistfully, "you would come to one of the dress rehearsals and tell me whether you think I am on the right track."

"No," he said positively. "Just as I wouldn't let anyone advise me about an unfinished painting." 374