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 He's anxious to get rid of me, he doesn't even care if I keep up with him. She looked at the two slender tree trunks that were his legs, walking positively. She knew his shirt collar was frayed and, as had happened once before at Figente's when she saw the old blue Norfolk, she wanted to do something for him. Except for Mother, and, at times, Vida, she never had felt like this about anyone. It felt good to take care of someone you liked, but sad too when you couldn't, when you were held at arms' length, because you wanted him to have everything he wanted, beginning with snowflake diamonds from heaven. Even Simone.

She got into the taxi and held out her hand. His going away was a weight on her spirit.

"Goodbye, if I don't see you again. Thank you very much for the walk, and the idea for the dance. I'm sorry you won't see it worked out." She tried to sound gay.

"Spring is a long way off," he said smiling and slammed the door. At least he could have said he would see her before he left, she thought. But it was a good thing he hadn't because from now on she would have only Ranna to think of, and the recital.

Chapter 29

CALIGULA GIVES A CHRISTMAS PARTY

had refused to accede to his sister's telephoned plea that he spend Christmas Eve at Syosset instead of alone.

"I don't feel up to it," he had said plaintively, his sister's picture of his solitude appealing to his everpresent self-pity, "but I shall expect you and the children for lunch when you come in for the Hansel and Gretel matinee."

Family Christmases depressed him, accentuating as they did the frightening passage of time.

Alice Perry's picture of her brother's lonely Christmas was inaccurate as he was giving a large Christmas Eve party. The few friends he first had thought of having for midnight supper and to listen to Hal's troubador song arrangements for harp, flute, and saxophone had multiplied. 304