Page:Anecdote book.pdf/23



A girl in one of the midland counties, who has a swivel or screw eye, looked so long and affectionately on a gin bottle, that she actually drew the cork!

A hairdresser of London was the other day suddenly and unexpectedly cured of deafness under the hydropathic system. He was assisting at a fire, when the engine played into his ear and knocked him down. He arose with his hearing completely restored.

Col. Greene, of the Boston Post, an old bachelor, gives the following notice in his paper of the 12th of January: 'Notice.—The girls will please take notice that leap year will end on the 31st instant.'

Sir Walter Scott tells a story of a gentleman, who, irritated at some misconduct of his servant, said, 'John, either you or I must quit this house.' Very well, sir, said John, where will your honour be ganging to?'

An Irishman being asked what he came to America for, said, 'Is't what I came here for, you mane? Arrah, by the powers! you may be sure that it wasn't for want, for I had plenty of that at home.'

Lord Eldon told Miss Ridley, his niece, that the king, speaking to the archbishop, Dr. Charles Manners Sutton, of his large family, used the expression, 'I believe your grace has better than a dozen' 'No, sire,' said the archbishop, 'only eleven.' 'Well,' replied the king, 'is not that better than a dozen?'

A celebrated Parisian dandy was ordered, a few days ago, by his physicians, to follow a course of sea-bathing of Dieppe. Arrived at that delightful bathing-town, he ordered a machine and attendant, and went boldly into the water. He plunged in bravely; but, in an instant after, came up puffing and blowing. 'Francis,' said he, 'the sea smells detestably; it will poison me. Throw a little eau de Cologne into the water, or I shall be suffocated!'