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An old schoolmaster, who usually heard his pupils once a-week through Watts' Scripture History, and afterwards asked them promiscuously such questions as suggested themselves to his mind, one day desired a young urchin to tell him who Jesse was; when the boy briskly replied, 'The Flower of Durblane, sir.'

A short time since, a bailie of Glasgow invited some of his electioneering friends to dinner, during which the champagne circulated freely, and was much relished by the honest bodies; when one of them, more fond of it than the rest, bawled out to the servant who waited, I say, Jock, gie us some mair o' that ginger yill, will ye!'

At a debating club, the question was discussed, whether there is more happiness in the possession or pursuit of an object? 'Mr. President,' said an orator, 'suppose I was courtin' a gal, and she was to run away, and I was to run after her; wouldn't I be happier when I cotch'd her than when I was running after her?'

The following notice might have been seen some time ago stuck up in a corset-maker's shop window in Glasgow-All sorts of ladies stays here.'

The following laconic epistle may be seen in the window of a coffee-house in Featherstone-street, City-road:—'Stolen, from this window, a china cup and saucer; the set being now incomplete, the thief may have the remainder a bargain.'

One day, at the table of the late Dr. Pearce, (Dean of Ely,) just as the cloth was removing, the subject of discourse happened to be that of an extraordinary mortality amongst the lawyers. 'We have lost,' said a gentleman 'not less than six eminent barristers in as many months.' The Dean, who was quite deaf, rose as his friend finished his remark, and gave the company grace:—'For this, and every other mercy, the Lord's name be praised!