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As a teacher was employed the other day in learning a sharp urchin to cipher on a slate, the pupil asked his instructor-'Whaur does a' the figures gang till whan they're rubbit oot?'

A friend of ours says, he is growing weaker and weaker every day. He has got so weak now that he can't raise five dollars.

The times are so hard, and payments are so rare, that the girls complain that the young men cannot even pay their addresses.

A poor Yankee, on being asked the nature of his distress, replied, that he had five outs and one in, viz., out of money and out of clothes: out at the heels and out at the toes; out of credit and in debt.'

The editor of the Newbury Journal is said to be so handsome, that he is forced to carry a club to keep the women off!

Experimental philosophy -asking a man to lend you money. Moral philosophy-refusing to do it.

One of the American papers gives an account of a lounger in his editorial office, who had been in the habit of sitting so long, that when he died his shadow was found fixed upon the wall!

A gentleman sent a lad with a letter to the Baltimore post-office, and money to pay the postage. When he returned, he said, 'I guess I did the thing slick; I see'd a good many folks putting letters into the post-office through a hole, so I watched my chance, and got mine in for nothing.'