Page:Ancient and modern history of Buck-haven in Fife-shire (5).pdf/5

 ( 9 ) ne took a great fwelling his wame, and cafting ap o' his kail collops and cauld fifh, that nothing ftaid on his ftomach; and a ftout ftomach had he, for crab heads or fcate-brofe, or fat brofe on a bridal- worn- ing, yet it fail‘d him ; he fell fick and none could cure him or tell what ail'd him till a mountebank ftage- doctor came to Kirk.caldy, that could judge by peo- ple's water, the troubles of their perfon, and Willy hearing of his fame, piffed unto a bottle, and fent it away with his daughter, the bottle being uncorked, his daughter fpilt it by the way, and to conceal her floth in fo doing, piffed in it herfelf, and on fhe goes, came to the ftage, and cries Sir Doctor, Sir Doctor, there is a bottle of my f.ther's wafh, and he has a fair guts, never, needs to drite, he fpues a‘ he eats, ‘tis true I tell you my dow; the doctor looks at it, and fays, it is not you father’s, furely it is your mother's ; a di'el’s i‘ the man, co fhe divna I ken my father by my mither? Then faid he, he is with child: A de'ils i‘the man, co‘fhe for my mother bore a‘ de bairns before, dats no true fir, a figs ye‘re a great liar, home fhe came, and tell'd Willy, her father, that the doctor faid he was wi' bairn. O waes me,co'Willy, for I hae a muckle wame,and I fear it's o'er true, O plague on you Jannet,for ye're the father o’t, and Iam fure to die in the hearing o't-- Witty Eppie was fent for, as fhe was howdy, and fand a Willy's wame to be fure about it; indeed co' Eppie, ye're the firft man e'er ; faw wi' bairn before and how you'll bear't I dinna ken, ye hae awally wame weel I wat, but how men bear bairns I never faw them yet, but L would drink fat water and drown't in my guts,for an men get ance the gate o'bearing weans themfels,they'll feek nae mae wives: fo Willy drank fea-water till his guts was like to rive, and out he goes to eafe himfelf among the kail, and with the terrible hurl of farting, up ftarts a matuken be-