Page:Ancient and modern history of Buck-haven in Fife-shire (4).pdf/8

8 lord's trumpeter, touting on his braſs whiſtle, Willie ventured till he ſaw the aſs' twa lugs, now cried Willy back to the reſt, Come forward and had his faſt, I ſee his twa horns, hech ſirs, he has a white beard like an auld beggar man, ſo they incloſed the poor aſs on all ſides, thinking it was the de'ils but when Wiſe Willy ſaw he had nae cloven feet, He cried out, fearna lads, this is no the de'il, its ſome living beaſt, it's neither a cow nor a horſe, and what is it then Willie? indeed co' Willie, its the father o' a' the maukens, i ken by its lang lugs.

Now ſome ſay, this is too ſatirical a hiſtory, but it is according to the knowledge of thoſe times, not to ſay in any place by another, old wives will yet tell us of many ſuch ſtories, as the devil appearing to their grandfathers and grandmothers, and dead wives coming again to viſit their families long after their being dead: but this Buck-haven which was once noted for droll exploits, is now become more knowing, and is a place ſaid to produce the best and hardieſ watermen or ſailors of any town ca the Scots coaſt, yet many of the old people in it ſtill retain the old tincture of their old and uncultivated ſpeech, as be-go-laddie, alſo a fiery nature, if you aſk any of the wives where their college ſtands, they'll tell you if your noſe were in their arſe, your mouth would be at the door of it.

Now it happened, when wiſe Willy turned old he took a great ſwelling in his wame, and caſting up of his kail, collops and cauld fiſh, that nothing ſtaid on his ſtomach, and a ſtout ſtomach had he, for crab-heads or ſcate broe, or ſat broſe, on a bridal morning, yet it fail'd him, he fell ſick, and none could cure him or tell what ail'd him, till a mountebank ſtage doctor came to Kirkaldy, that could judge by people's piſs, the troubles of their perſon, and Willie hearing of his fame piſſed into a bottle and ſent it away with his daughter; the bottle being uncorked his daughter ſpilt it by the way, and to conceal her ſloth in ſo doing, piſſed in it herſelf, and on ſhe goes, comes to the ſtage and cries, Sir dochtor, ſir dochtor, here