Page:Ancient and modern history of Buck-haven in Fife-shire (2).pdf/9

(9) he took a great ſwelling his wame, and caſting up o‘ his kail collops and cauld fiſh, that nothing ſtaid on his ſtomach; and a ſtout ſtomach had he, for crab heads or ſcate-broſe, or ſat broſe on a bridal-morning, yet it fail’d him; he fell ſick and none could cure him or tell what ail‘d him till a mountebank ſtage-doctor came to Kirk-caldy, that could judge by people‘s water, the troubles of their person, and Willy hearing of his ſame, pissed unto a bottle, and ſent it away with his daughter, the bottle being uncorked, his daughter ſpilt it by the way, and to conceal her ſloth in ſo doing, piſſed in it herſelf, and on ſhe goes, came to the ſtage, and cries Sir Doctor, Sir Doctor, here is a bottle of my father's waſh, and he has a fair guts, never needs to drite, he ſpues a' he eats ‘tis true I tell you my dow; the doctor looks at it, and ſays, it is not you father’s, ſurely it is your mother's; a di'el’s i' the man, co ſhe divna I ken my father by my mither? Then ſaid he, he is with child: A de‘ils i‘ the man, co ſhe for my mother bore a‘ de bairns before, dats no true fir, a figs ye're a great liar, home ſhe came, and tell‘d Willy, her father, that the doctor said he was wi' bairn. O wae me, co‘ Willy, for I hae a muckle wame, and I fear it‘s o'er true, O plague on you Jannet, for ye‘re the father o’t, and I'm ſure to die in the bearing o't— Witty Eppie was ſent for, as ſhe was howdy, and ſand a Willy's wame to be ſure about it; indeed co' Eppie, ye're the firſt man e'er I ſaw wi' bairn before and how you'll bear't I dinna ken, ye hae a wally wame weel I wat, but how men bear bairns I never ſaw them yet, but I would drink fat water and drown't in my guts, for an men get ance the gate o‘ bearing weans themſels, they'll ſeek nae mae wives: ſo Willy drank ſea-water till his guts was like to rive and out h e goes to eaſe himself among the kail, and with the terrible hurl of farring up ſtarts a mauken be-