Page:Ancient and modern history of Buck-haven in Fife-shire (2).pdf/15

(15) the wives that had their kail eaten appeared firſt in the court, complaining againſt Muir-edge. Indeed my Lord, Muir edge is not a good man, when he’s ſic an ill neighbour, he keeps black hairs and white hares little wee brown backed hares wi' white arſes, and looſe wagging horns, de muckle anes loups o’er the dyke and eats a de kail, and de little anes wi’ de wagging horns creeps in at our water guſh holes an' does do like; when we cry piſue they rin awa’ hame to Muir-edge, but I'll gar my colly haudem by de fit, and I'll had em by de horn, and pu’ a’ de hair aff ‘em and ſend him hame wanting de skin as he did wi‘ Sowen Tammy's wee Sandy for codding o’ his peaſe he took de poor laddies coat, a ſae did he een.

A well then, ſaid my Lord, what do you ſay, but call in wiſe Willy.

In he comes, A well my Lord, I ſhall ſuppoſe an ye were a ſow, and me ſitting -g, and you to bite my arſe ſudna I tak amends o' you for that; Od my Lord ye wadna hae ſic a bit o’ your arſe for twentie merks, ye maun juſt gar Muir edge gie ten merks to buy a plaiſter to heal the poor bit wean‘s arſe again? Well ſaid, Willy ſaid my Lord but who puts on the ſow's noſe again? A figs my Lord ſaid Willy, ſhe’s honeſter like wanting it, and ſhe'll bite nae mair arſes wi't, and gin ye' had hame a noſe as lang as the ſow had ye’d been obliged to ony body t’wad cut a piece aff t.

A. gentleman coming past near their town, aſked one of their wives where their college ſtood, ſaid ſhe Give me a ſhilling and I'll show you both sides of it, he gives her a ſhilling, thinking to ſee ſome curious fight, now there's one ſide of your ſhilling, and here is the other it's mine now.