Page:Anandamath, The Abbey of Bliss - Chatterjee.djvu/94

72 "Take you back!," interrupted Jivananda, " I have not deserted you, Santi." " No, you have not — but when you have fulfilled your vow, when you are free to love me again" — She could not finish, for Jivananda held her in deep embrace and placing his head on her shoulder stood still for a while. He sighed at last and said : " Ah ! wherefore did I see you again ?" "Why, indeed said Santi, "you must have broken your vow ?" " That matters little, I may expiate the transgression, — but I cannot make up my mind to go back, having seen you once again. It is for this that I told Nimi that it was no use seeing you now. I cannot return when once I have seen you. All the desirable things of earth, all vows, sacrifices and prayers, are weighed against you in the scales. I cannot always tell which would kick the beam. What shall I do with the country ? You are my everything. With you I could build up a heaven in any plot of land on God's earth. Why should I fight for the country ? The people are suffering? But who suffers more than the wretch who has to abandon a wife like you ? Who is poorer than the husband who sees you in torn rags ? You are the support of all my piety ; what do I care for the religion which asks me give up my greatest support. For what merit do I add to my crop of sins by trampling over lands and woods, gun in hand, and killing and slaying right and left ? I donot know if the world will ever come under the