Page:An English Garner Ingatherings from Our History and Literature (Volume 1 1877).pdf/93

 where some wrestle and some run: and he that does best is aptest to take a fall. It is an alley to walk upon without dread, albeit under it be most assured danger. The gentlewomen that tremble to pass over a bridge in the field, do here walk boldly. The citizen's wife that looks pale when she sits in a boat for fear of drowning, thinks that here she treads as safe now as in her parlour. Of all ages, of both sexes, of all professions, this is the common path. It is the roadway between London and Westminster, and between Southwark and London. Would you drink a cup of sack, father? here stand some with runlets to fill it out.

Coun. Ah ha! that is the tavern then that is talked on.

Cit. Thirst you for beer, ale, usquebaugh, &c.; or for victuals? There you may buy it, because [in order that] you may tell another day how you dined upon the Thames. Are you cold with going over? You shall ere you come to the midst of the river, spy some ready with pans of coals to warm your fingers. If you want fruit after you have dined, there stand costermongers to serve you at your call. And thus do people leave their houses and the streets; turning the goodliest river in the whole kingdom into the broadest street to walk in.

Coun. But tell me, I pray, Sir, if all the merchants that undertake this voyage to these your narrow seas; are none undone? Do none of your fresh-water soldiers miscarry, and drop down in these slippery marshes?

Cit. Yes, Sir, I have heard of many and have been an eyewitness of some: of all which, I will be sparing in report, being rather willing to be reprehended for telling too little than for discovering too much.

Coun. It is a modesty that well becomes any man, albeit nothing but truth sit upon his tongue. But I pray, sithence [since] you crack the shell, let us see what kernel there is within it: sithence you have bestowed the sweet, let me taste the sour. Let your news be as countryfolks bring fruit to your markets, the bad and good together. Say, have none gone "westward for smelts," as our proverbial phrase is?

Cit. Yes, it hath been a kind of battle for the time. For some have fallen in up to the knees, others to the middle, others to the armpits; yea, and some have been ducked over head and ears, yet have