Page:All the Year Round - Series 2 - Volume 1.djvu/607

 "Hey-day!" says Mrs. Hel, sharp; "read that again. What hever does he mean by that?—your little games—your litt"

"'Spose he illudes to my hentering my old mare for the steeplechase," I answers, hastily. "But, you know, it didn't come off. So—so—Ha . . . 'Now,' Tom goes on, 'if you and cousin Matty'll pop on your seven-league boots, and step across to Sarah Gosser, I can promise you a 'arty welcome, hexlent wine, and universal ciwility, which, if it don't mean much, hexpresses a deal. And,' concluded Tom, 'as we partic'larly want your opinion of a black Handalusian bull, with short sharp 'orns, we hope you'll not disappint us, but'll come next week. Your affectionate, Tom K. Tirritup. P.S. Ramirez Vermijo kisses my cousin's hand.' The deuce he does! He must have a pretty long neck," says I, as I folded up the letter, thoughtfully, and put it in my pocket, keeping out, however, a specious of map, meant to show us the way, with many ins and outs, and roads and names; but with Hogsmead and Sarah Gosser wrote very large, and so nigh together that it seemed quite sing'lar they'd hitherto know'd so little of each other.

There was a pause, after which,

"If we'd wanted very much to go, Hel," says my wife, timidly, "'twould have been just the only time—wouldn't it, now?"

"'Twould have cost a pot o' money," says I, "all for to see a Handalusian bull. 'Twould have been cheaper to send him to me"

"So it would, my dear. Just like Tom, but"

"Fine open weather, ain't it, Mrs. Hel?" says I, to change the subject and diwert her mind.

"Wery fine—'specially for them as happens to be travellin' by land or by water. They not only has the pleasure, but'll be prayed for," says my wife, softly.

"They has expenses, Mrs. Hel," I thought it my duty to say.

"Wery true," she says, with a sigh. "By the by, Jem, what hever does Tom mean by saying that you and he had 'had your sw'"

"And so you'd railly like to cross the salt seas, dear?" says I, pinching her ear.

"Yes, I would, no matter how salt they was," said my wife, stoutly. "But, Jem—'little games'? If"

"Then, I tell you what—you shall," hinterrupted I. "So go and clap on your wust bonnet."

O' course I was only joking about the bonnet, for it took us several days to prepare. I, for my part, wanted to say nothing about it, it not being favourable for things in general, to be know'd that the master's going far away. But my wife was proud of this tremenjious journey, and it soon got wind. We was looked at with hinterest and astonishment. Compliments, likewise commissions, came pouring down upon us. Folks seemed to thins that Spain produced everything other countries didn't. But we shortened it by declining to bring back anything but liquorice, which, packing close, and being wery likely to dissolve on the way, we cheerfully hundertook to any amount.

To be sure, going to Spain is not a heveryday affair; still, there was no call for the club givin' me a farewell dinner at the Salutation. Have it, however, they woold. All I stipulated for was, that there was to be no speeches—that it were not to be called a "dinner," but a conwivial repast, and that Stephen Dumbush, who had never been heerd to utter anything beyond a grunt, in the memory of man, was to be in the chair. There were to be no formality, nor nothin' stronger than rum-punch.

When the day come, though nothin' was said about any dinner, the, coincidences as happened wos curious in the hextreme. Everybody seemed to have particular business at Hogsmead—as might keep them out till bed-time. Neighbour Burdock, Stephen Dumbush, and old Bullwinkle—rode in together. Singlerly, everybody'd bordered dinner at the same hour half-past four! There was a table at the Salutation, haccidentally kid for twenty-five, just the number as chanced to meet! The big chair, at the top, 'appened to be hoccupied by Mr. Dumbush. Into the chair on his right hand, I permiscuously dropped, and we found ourselves dining Bumptiously, and makin' a din you might have heard at Lincoln!

Honly distant illusions was at first made to our journey.—"Our neighbour's brief absence"—"Lufkin's hinteresting project"—"Jem's little forrin start," etc. Hafterwards as we warmed up, they was more plain.

George Burdock remarked that, o' course, he wasn't going to make a speech, but he did see a gentleman present which to drink a cordial health to—and his wife wouldn't do no harm to anybody. The party he had in his heye was going to a distant land, of which wery little was generally know'd, except that there was hinsurrections twice a week, and a down right rebellion hevery 'alf year. It was hard to get at, but he believed that, when a man giv' his mind to it, and arrived, there was good cattle—'specially bulls—and he hoped that the wisit of Mr. Luf kin would lead to such a cordial hinterchange of beasts, as would be creditable to both countries. With the consent of the chair (Mr. Dumbush nodded) he would give the health of Mr. and Mrs. Lufkin, of Goodburn Close.

Mr. Stonedyke, though mindful of the gineral understanding that there was to be no speeches, could not deny himself the pleasure of seconding that proposal, hadding that, since their respected neighbour had already distinguished himself as a author—in regard to sperrets—the public would be nat'rally impatient for his views with respect to the crossin o' red Herefords with the short-horned northern stock.

Mr. Bullwinkle would only say one word. Mention had been made of Spanish bulls. For John Bull to have to be taught by a Spaniard what a bull was, almost amounted to an Irish one. He thought that the only advantage of Spanish stock over our'n, was an hincreased hinclination to fight, and tempers more heasily haggravated.

Young Tom Thicknesse (which an't wery