Page:All the Year Round - Series 2 - Volume 1.djvu/362

352[March 13, 1869] come an unmitigated nuisance. FortutunatelyFortunately [sic] she was followed by a caricature still more untrue and repulsive, in the shape of the Young Man of the Day; a caricature so repulsive, and so unlike the truth, that it proved to have no vitality whatever. The young man, it may be hoped, will now conduct his sister to oblivion. The Girl of the Period is produced at the two theatres in question, at a vast advertising expense, and with a magnificence remarkable to behold. Nothing comes of it but a gorgeous exhibition of impossible dresses.

In connexion with this point attention may be called to a most aggravating custom which appears, year by year, and more and more, to find favour with managers. Advertising is one of the theatrical nuisances of the time. The playbill is a mere advertisement, and the names of the performers have to be hunted out from a mass of glycerine, and rose water, and cosmetics. The pantomime reeks with advertisements. What does anybody care about the makers of the dresses of the Girls of the Period? Can it interest the public to know that Messrs. Want and Ask, or Knag and Rankle, are responsible for the paniers and fichus worn by those charmers? Suppose the eminent firm of Wheedler and Co. did supply the gloves, what then?

It is hardly an exaggeration to say that nothing is done even by the clowns at the establishments under notice, unconnected with advertising. The well-known boxes suggestive of droll surprises, are continually being carried in by tottering supers for advertising purposes. Harlequin wags his head, and flourishes his wand, but after the usual sounding slap on the canvas no laughter-moving trick ensues. The box opens, and the affair is found to be an advertisement pure and simple; a puff of somebody's sherry, or somebody else's mustard, or yet another person's coats. Whole scenes are arranged with this object alone; and the result is most distressingly dismal.

When the clowns are not engaged in calling attention to the different wares to be recommended, they are occupied with beating and maltreating policemen. And this brings Your Commissioner to points which he really thinks worthy of your Lordship's attention. From time immemorial a policeman has been the natural butt of the clown. He has been deceived, cajoled, punched, bonneted, in countless pantomimes. His miseries have been invariably received with delight. But, in the present season, this matter takes a wholesale form. The police force is held up to persistent ridicule, and claptrap appeals to the gallery against the police are made in every scene. The gratification with which these are received, stimulates the clown to fresh exertions, and the changes are persistently rung on the muzzle rules, on the hoop regulations, and on the supposed general incompetency of the force. The police have just now a difficult task to perform, and it would be just and politic to ensure them fair play. Your Commissioner is not desirous of emulating the colonel of marines at Plymouth, and is of opinion that no man or body of men is the worse for a little harmless "chaff." But in this case the chaff is not a little, nor is it harmless. It would possibly not be detrimental to the public interest if your Lordship were to consider the propriety of slightly abbreviating the present licence in this matter. It appears to Your Commissioner to be at least as important as the elongation of the skirts of the ballet.

Again, does the new Factory Act apply to theatres? If it do, how comes it that the stage swarms with "young persons and children" to an advanced period of the night? If it do not, does it not appear desirable that some effective supervision should be instituted over the work done by absolute babies, in pantomime? It appears a singular anomaly that the proprietor of a mill should not be allowed to employ children of a certain age at all; should be strictly under regulation as to the kind of work to be done by older children; and should be absolutely restricted to certain hours of work; if the manager of a theatre be allowed to do in this respect exactly as he likes. For little children to go through their share of the pantomime from two till five, and then again from eight till eleven, and this twice a week, seems hard work. Your Lordship may think the question worth consideration. The unhappy appearance and visible terror of some of the "young persons" grilling high up among the gas battens, in transformation scenes, may likewise not be lost upon your Lordship.

Only one pantomime remains to be considered to complete the list of that kind of entertainment at the West-end of the town. Burlesque has driven the pantomimists from all but three theatres in this quarter. This third pantomime offers but little for Your Commissioner's remark. A singularly active, and apparently boneless, gro-