Page:All the Year Round - Series 2 - Volume 1.djvu/250

240 said, "I have sunk low enough, God knows; I have done with it and with this place, and if I could only get away home at once, this moment—oh that I had never come!"

He looked at me gravely, then gently took my arm and led me out. "Now my good friend," he said, "forgive me if I speak freely to you. You make too much of this. What is it after all? A few napoleons! Did you never drop money in the street, or have your purse taken out of your pocket? We get over that soon enough. 'It can't be helped,' 'must be endured,' and all that. But a few pieces lost here seems a calamity, like a house burnt down, or a murder. Now you are so sensible and rational and all that, I am sure you will look at it in this way——"

"It is not that," I say, "but——"

"Well, I am glad of it. What is it then—bad news from home? What she? Dora ill?"

Dora! A curious light, and more curious expectancy was in his eyes. I could pass over his speaking of her as "Dora," for I knew he was not conscious of what he was saying. And, indeed, we might have some indulgence. I told him what was the real state of the case. He has a fair heart, and he showed sympathy.

"Well, you have had your share of trials," he said, "but as for this little loss at the tables, you must see how little it enters into the matter. How would you bear with me if I gave you a piece of advice? I know those tables well—they take freaks at times, and then they destroy us all. But in the average state of things, something is to be done with them. You fail once, but you can try again."

"Never," I said. "Never, indeed!"

"Well, you are foolish, I tell you. You have lost so much—take these three naps; if you lose them, it will add very little to your other loss; while these very three might actually win you back your own money. Ay, not only that, but ten times as much."

"Ah, if I had only my own back I should be happy, and ask nothing else."

"Why there are numbers of instances. There was that Jenkinson, that went in with a florin, which I declare solemnly within a quarter of an hour had mounted to a thousand francs. Why there was Lord A., whose one napoleon I saw, myself, grow into ten fat rouleaux as large as sausages. It is not all ill-luck recollect. Some one told me what Whately the archbishop said about 'a rashly cautious man.' There is often as much folly in over caution as in recklessness. Here, then—you are so proud, you will be under no compliment—give me one louis, and I'll go in and play for you. I feel a conviction I can do something."

But he could not persuade me, and I walked away on a miserable stroll up into the woods. As he said so justly, what was the loss of a few gold pieces compared with the heavier trials at home? Dora sick, worried, wearing nearly out, fighting a miserable battle. But still—O the shame and degradation of the thought—that wretched loss of gold would come up, and, I am convinced, is the real oppression on my mind at this moment. Could there be a better proof of the corruption and demoralisation of that vile temple of Satan?

These words of Grainger's are not so foolish after all. As he says, it cannot always go one way; and this did not occur to his mind, that it would amount to quite a suspension of the laws of chance, if there was to be ill-luck always against the players, or even against the player himself on different days. As the ball cannot drop into say number twenty-six, ten times running, or even three times, so a player cannot always be failing. He loses now, but may win next time. This is a sound analysis, though a little too refined for Grainger's intellect. Still his reasoning was just about risking one piece more or two. It makes the loss very little more, but might abolish the loss itself altogether. Oh, my poor sweet little pieces, if I had them back what a relief, what joy, what a new life, even as an earnest of hope of better things coming. There is the table d'hôte bell. But I have no heart to dine.  

