Page:Aelfric's Lives of Saints Vol 2.djvu/35

 them. When the  festival  of  the  elevation  of  the  precious  Rood  arrived, I went  before  the  young  men,  as  before,  enticing  them  to  the  snare of perdition. Then indeed  I  saw  them  all  run  with  one  accord  to the  church  early  in  the  morning. Then began  I  to  run  with  the runners, and  together  with  them  endeavoured  to  arrive  before  the temple. When the  time  came  for  reverencing  the  Holy  Rood,  then I began  violently  to  push  among  the  people  against  the  people, and so  with  much  toil  I,  poor  wretch,  arrived  at  the  temple-door with those  who  were  entering  therein. When  I  ought  to  have entered at  the  door,  the  rest  began  to  enter  without  any  hindrance; but the  divine  might  prevented  me  from  going  in,  and  I  was  soon thrust out  from  amid  all  the  people,  until  I  stood  behind  alone  in the  vestibule. Then I  began  to  think  that  this  had  happened  to me  on  account  of  my  womanly  want  of  strength,  and  so  I  began once more  to  mix  myself  with  others,  that  I  might  somehow  push my way  in. But I  toiled  in  vain,  whenever  I  touched  the  threshold of  the  doors. And they  were  all  received  therein  without  any hindrance, when  I  alone  was  pushed  out. Just as  if  some  strong company of  men  opposed  me  to  prevent  my  entrance,  so  the  sudden vengeance of  God  barred  the  door  to  me,  until  I  was  again  standing in the  vestibule  of  the  temple. Thus thrice  or  four  times  I  endeavoured to  behold  and  also  to  fulfil  my  will;    and  when  I  in  no wise  succeeded,  then  I  began  to  think  earnestly  about  it,  and  my body  was  extremely  wearied  by  the  compulsion  of  the  pressure. Then, verily,  I  departed  thence,  and  stood  alone  in  a  corner  of  the vestibule, and  earnestly  deliberated  in  my  mind,  and  considered  for what cause  the  sight  of  the  quickening  tree  was  denied  me. Then indeed a  knowledge  of  salvation  touched  my  mind  and  the  eyes  of my  heart,  while  pondering  with  myself  that  the  filthiness  of  my misdeeds  had  closed  the  entrance  against  me. Then I  began  to weep  bitterly,  and  in  great  sorrow  to  beat  my  breast,  and  sighing from my  inmost  heart  to  bring  forth  sorrowful  sobbings. Then