Page:Advice to young ladies on their duties and conduct in life - Arthur - 1849.djvu/196

188 All this had better be avoided, if possible, and might be avoided, if each party were more given to reflection than young couples usually are; but it is not so very serious a matter, nor so much to be wondered at, and will work its own cure, but not until, by being made very unhappy a good many times, the young wife perceives her error, and the young husband is conscious that he is a little too self-willed.

It is not a trifling thing for two minds to come into such close contact and relationship with each other as marriage effects. And when we reflect that each inherits a tendency to love self supremely, and that each has indulged and given strength to this tendency, it is not at all to be wondered at, that there should at first be some strings of discord jarred. It would be stranger still were it otherwise; for every selfish affection, when it becomes active, seeks its own ends, regardless of the good of another.

From these causes, the first year after marriage will usually be found the most trying and difficult one that a young couple has to pass. During that period, however, they will begin to understand themselves and each other better, and mutually correct the faults that produced unhappiness.

It does not always happen that the young wife