Page:Advice to young ladies on their duties and conduct in life - Arthur - 1849.djvu/185

Rh to her parents, or, if they be not living, to some friend whose age and experience give her the position of a sound adviser. If the person who makes the offer is not considered by the young lady as a suitable partner, let her firmly decline him, no matter how strongly her parents or friends urge a different course. If, on the contrary, she approve and they object, let her seriously consider the ground of their objections, and if they stand against his moral character, and are undoubtedly true, let her, as she values their happiness, respect their objections. But if they are merely extrinsic, and do not touch his character and personal fitness to make her happy, and she is calmly and deeply conscious of loving him with a pure, fervent, and undying love, that has its origin in a knowledge and regard for his moral excellences, let her not reject his offer. The objections of her parents will be a good reason for her not at once accepting the offer; but this reason she should state to her lover, and both should be content to wait patiently, if it be even as long as one or two years, in the hope of overcoming the prejudices that exist, before determining to marry against the wishes of her friends. This deference to their objections may have the effect of overcoming them, and the marriage be allowed to take place with their fullest sanction,