Page:Adventures of the extravagant wit, or, The English swindler.pdf/10

( 10 ) wherein are as many maladies and mitchiefs as flew out of Pandora's box. I invented this ſtratagem: One day I pretended much buſineſs abroad, and ſo got leave to go out with my keeper, reſolving not to return with him. Having been from tavern to alehouſe, and to to tavern again pretending the diſpatch of much buſineſs. I at length told keeper, that I would viſit a very dear friend of mine, but that I thought it requiſite to be trimmed firſt. He conſenting we went to a barber's; I ſat down in the chair firſt, and being diſpatched Id fired the keeper to ſit down too, and I would pay for ſprucifying his phyſiognomy Whilſt he was trimming I talked of one thing or other, to hold him in diſcourſe. At laſt ſaid the barber that your eyes, or elſe my ball will offend you Shuttin his eyes, I took an occaſion to flip out, planting myſelf in an houſe hard by; the barber not imagining I was a priſoner The keeper not hearing me talk, valued not the ſmart, but opened his eyes: and ſeeing me not in the ſhop, role up, and that ſo haſtily, that he overthrew Cutbeard, and the balon upon him, runing out into the ſtreet with the barber's cloth about him The people ſeeing him thus, with the froth about his face, concluded him mad, and as he ran gave him the way. The barber with his razor ran after the keeper, crying, ſtop him, ſtop him, that I may be revenged on the rogue. The other ne'er minding the outcry, ran ſtaring up and down as if his wits had ſtolen away from him, and he in purſuit of them To conclude, the barber at laſt ſeized him, and having recovered his cloth, and made him pay for ſhaving, he was diſmiſt with a kick or two in the backſide, the barber not ſuffering him to ſpeak a word in his own defence.

Thus freeing myſelf, I went to take the country air, when happily I met with my two old comrades.