Page:Addresses to the German nation.djvu/203

 and who does not appear directly as a benefactor, than towards the mother, who with her beneficence is ever present. The child wants to be noticed by him, wants to have his approval; only in so far as the father is satisfied with him is he satisfied with himself. This is the natural love of the child for the father, not as the guardian of his sensuous well-being, but as the mirror, from which his own worth or worthlessness is reflected for him. Now, the father himself can easily connect with this love obedience and every kind of self-denial; for the reward of his hearty approval the child obeys with joy. Then again, this is the love which the child longs for from the father; that he shall notice the child’s effort to be good, and acknowledge it; that he shall show that it gives him joy when he can approve, and grieves him heartily when he must disapprove; that he desires nothing more than always to be able to be satisfied with him, and all his demands on the child have simply the intention of making him ever better and more worthy of respect. Again, the sight of this love continually animates and strengthens the child’s love, and gives him new strength for all his further efforts. On the other hand, that love is killed by being disregarded, and by continual unjust misunderstanding; in particular, it produces even hate, if in dealing with the child one allows selfishness to appear, and, e.g., treats as a capital crime some damage caused by his carelessness. He then sees himself regarded as a mere tool, and this outrages his feeling that he must himself be of worth, a feeling that is dim, indeed, but yet not absent.

149. To prove this by an example. What is it that with the child adds shame to the pain of chastisement, and what is this shame? Obviously it is the feeling of self-contempt, which is an inevitable accompaniment when the displeasure of his parents and educators is shown