Page:Adams - A Child of the Age.djvu/79

67 the card marking a small oblong on the ledge of one of the upper panes. I looked closer, to read the actual letters: Apartments.

Not seeing either bell or knocker, I rapped at the door with my knuckles.

An old woman holding up a guttering candle half-opened it. I said: 'Do you let apartments?'

'I've a room. Yes.'

'How much is it a week? '

'Five shillings a week, sir.'

'Oh!'

A pause. I turned away considering.

'—But I think I could take four, sir, perhaps?' she said.

'Will you let me see it?' I asked.

'Please step upstairs, sir.—Mind the wall, sir, it comes off.'

I followed her upstairs.

I took the room, and paid for two weeks in advance. The furniture consisted of a bed, a washing-stand, a table, a chair, and two ragged scraps of carpet, one under the table, one by the side of the bed. There was a looking-glass over the chimney-piece, and three photographs in faded violet frames of velvet, worn out: Napoleon , the Empress Eugenie, and the Prince Imperial as a boy. She had left a gas-jet turned full on.

I bolted the door, and began pulling off my coat, when I felt the emptiness inside me again. I sat down on the unsteady chair, and began thinking about what had occurred to me to-day; but I soon gave it up: rose and, for a moment, stood irresolute whether to go out and get some food, or to ask this woman, Mrs. Smith, for some, or to get into bed without any? At last I thought I would get into bed. Sleep, cool quiet sleep, would calm and refresh me.

I threw my waistcoat on to the top of the coat, and stood irresolute again, stretching my arms up and down. Then an impulse came to me. I fell down on to my knees and, leaning my arms on the bed, leant my head on my arms. I began in a half whisper:

If there be a God