Page:Acharnians and two other plays (1909).djvu/72

54 Lam. Fellow, direct not your discourse to me. Dic. Aye, but this boy and I, we can't agree;

And we've a kind of wager, which is best,

Locusts or quails, forsooth. Lam. Sirrah, your jest

Is insolent. Dic. My wager's gone this bout:

He's all, you see, for locusts, out and out.

Various demonstrations of menace and defiance take place between Lamachus and Dicæopolis. Lamachus has called for his lance in anger; Dicæopolis calls for the spit: both are brought, but neither of them in a state fit for service. Lamachus (after a hostile reconnoitring look), Conscious oi his present disadvantage, proceeds to unsheath his rusty weapon; but, in the meantime, Dicæopolis has succeeded in disengaging bis spit from the roast-meat, and appears again ready to confront him upon equal terms. Here again are reciprocal looks and gestures of hostility, which terminate in mutual forbearance. Any amusement which this scene might have afforded to the spectators, must have been derived from the humour of the performers; to the mere reader, and more particularly to the modern reader, it must be uninteresting; and might have been passed over, but for a wish (which perhaps has been carried too far) to omit nothing that was admissible.

Lam. Bring here my lance; unsheath the deadly point. Dic. Bring here the spit, and show the roasted joint. Lam. This sheath is rusted. Come, boy, tug and try.

Ah, there it comes. Dic. (unspitting his roast meat). It comes quite easily. Lam. Bring forth the props of wood, my shield's support. Dic. Bring bread, for belly timber; that's your sort! Lam. My Gorgon-orbed shield; bring it with speed. Dic. With this full-orbed pancake I proceed. Lam. Is not this insolence too much to bear? Dic. Is not this pancake exquisite and rare? Lam. Pour oil upon the shield! What do I trace

In the divining mirror? 'Tis the face

Of an old coward, petrified with fear,

That sees his trial for desertion near. Dic. Pour honey on the pancake! what appears?

A comely personage, advanced in years;

Firmly resolved to laugh at and defy