Page:AceticLibraryV2PreparationForDeath.djvu/90

 cannot exist without love; it either loves the creature, or it loves God; if it does not love the creature, then it loves God. And who is it that loves God? Even he who keeps His commandments. " He that hath My commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth Me." (S. John xiv. 21.) He therefore who dies, observing God's commands, dies loving God; and he that loves God shall not fear: for " perfect love casteth out fear." (i S.John iv. 18.)

Ah, my Jesus, when will that day come when I shall be able to say, "My God, never more shall I be able to lose Thee?" When will that day come when I shall see Thee face to face, and shall rest secure of loving Thee with all my strength for all eternity? Ah my Sovereign Good, my only love, as long as I live I shall stand in danger of offending Thee, and of losing Thy blessed grace! There was once an unhappy time when I loved Thee not, and when I despised Thy love; but now I repent with all my heart, and hope that Thou hast already pardoned me; for now I love Thee with all my heart, and I desire to do all I can, to love Thee, and to please Thee; but I am still in danger of not loving Thee, and of again turning away from Thee. Ah, my Jesus, my Life, my Treasure, do not permit me to do this. Rather than allow this dreadful misfortune to befall me, let me now die the most painful death it may please Thee to send me. I am content with it, and I pray for it. Eternal Father, for the love of Jesus Christ, give me not over to this great ruin. Punish me as Thou wilt, I deserve it, and I accept it; but deliver me from the punishment of ever beholding myself deprived of Thy grace and of Thy love. My Jesus, for Thine own sake have mercy upon me.

"The souls of the just are in the hand of God; and the torment of death shall not touch them. In the sight of the unwise they seemed to die, .... but they are in peace." (Wisd. iii. 1-3.) It seems in the sight of the unwise that the servants of God die with sorrow, and unwillingly, even as the worldly do;