Page:AceticLibraryV2PreparationForDeath.djvu/169

 God, becomes the slave of Lucifer the beloved friend, becomes an enemy greatly hated the heir of heaven, is condemned to hell. S. Francis of Sales said, that if the angels could weep, when they beheld a soul that had committed deadly sin, and had lost divine grace, they would be ready to weep through compassion. But the greater misfortune is, that whilst the angels would be ready to weep, were they capable of doing so, the sinner weeps not. S. Augustine says, that when a man has lost a small sheep, one of the flock, he neither eats nor sleeps, but weeps; yet if he have lost the grace of God, he both eats, and sleeps, and weeps not.

Behold, O my Redeemer, the miserable state into which I have reduced myself. To make me worthy of Thy grace, Thou didst spend thirty-three years of toil and of pain, and I, for one moment of poisoned pleasure, for a mere nothing, have despised it and lost it. I thank Thy compassion for still giving me time in which I can recover it at my will. Yes, I wish, as far as I can, to recover it. Tell me what I must do to receive Thy pardon. Dost Thou wish me to repent? Yes, my Jesus, I repent with all my soul for having offended Thy Infinite Goodness. Dost Thou wish me to love? I love Thee above all things. I have hitherto most unworthily employed my heart in loving the creature, and upon vanity; from this day forth I will live for Thee alone, I will love Thee only, my Lord, my treasure, my hope, my strength. " I will love Thee, O Lord, my strength." (Ps. xviii. i.) O my Jesus, Thy wounds and Thy merits shall be my hope and my strength. From Thee I hope for strength to be faithful. Receive me, then, with Thy grace, O my Saviour, and do not let me leave Thee any more. Separate me from worldly affections, and inflame my heart with Thy holy love.