Page:AceticLibraryV2PreparationForDeath.djvu/158

 out the number of the stars, the number of the angels, or the length of life which some have, but who can apply himself to searching out the number of sins which God will pardon in each of us? Therefore we should tremble. Who knows, my brother, that after that first unworthy gratification, that first allowed thought, that first sin which you may commit, God will ever pardon you?

Oh, my God, I thank Thee; how many, for less sins than mine are now in hell, and for them there is no more pardon or hope! Whilst I am still living, I am out of hell, and I have, if I desire it, the hope of pardon and of heaven. Yes, my God, I desire pardon. I repent, above every other sin, the having offended Thee, because I have offended Thy infinite Goodness. Eternal Father, " Look upon the face of Thine Anointed." (Ps. lxxxiv. 9.) Look upon that Son Who died upon that Cross for me; by His merits, have pity upon me. I promise to choose death rather than to offend Thee more. I may justly fear, thinking upon the sins that I have committed, and the graces which Thou hast bestowed upon me, that should I add another sin, my measure would be filled up, and I should be condemned. Oh, help me by Thy grace: from Thee I look for light and strength to be faithful to Thee, and if ever Thou seest that I should again offend Thee, let me die in this moment, in which I trust that I and in Thy grace. I love Thee, my God, above all things, and I fear more than death itself, to find myself again out of Thy grace; in mercy grant that this may never be.

The sinner says, "But God is merciful;" I answer, "Who denies it? The compassion of God is infinite, but in spite of all this mercy, how many are daily lost?" " He hath sent Me to bind up the broken-hearted." (Isa. lxi. i.) He heals those who have a right disposition. He pardons sin, but He cannot pardon the desire to sin. The sinner will answer, " I am young." You are young, but God counts sins and not years. And this